Express Movie Reviews

Posted: May 5, 2006 in movie

Ok so I have been slaking on my movie reviews… so I’m just going to use the synopsis from Yahoo! Movies and give a thumbs up, down or so-so… Here goes…

Fearless (2006): Master Huo Yuan Jia was a supreme Martial Arts champion, founder and spiritual guru of the Jin Wu Sports Federation. “Fearless” tells his tale. Featuring Jet Li, it is his last action movie.
Rating: thumbs up

Ice Age: The Meltdown: The Ice Age is coming to an end, and the animals are delighting in the melting paradise that is their new world. Manny, Sid, and Diego quickly learn that the warming climate has one major drawback: a huge glacial dam is about to break, threatening the entire valley. The only chance of survival lies at the other end of the valley. So the three heroes, along with a mammoth named Ellie and her two “brothers” — possums Crash and Eddie — embark on a mission across an increasingly dangerous landscape towards their salvation.
Rating: thumbs up

She’s The Man: Viola Johnson (Amanda Bynes) had her own good reasons for disguising herself as her twin brother Sebastian (James Kirk) and enrolling in his place at his new boarding school, Illyria Prep. She was counting on Sebastian being AWOL from school as he tried to break into the music scene in London. What she didn’t count on was falling in love with her hot roommate, Duke (Channing Tatum), who in turn only has eyes for the beautiful Olivia (Laura Ramsey). Making matters worse, Olivia is starting to fall for Sebastian, who–for reasons Olivia couldn¿t begin to guess–appears to be the sensitive type of guy she’d always dreamed of meeting. If things weren’t complicated enough, the real Sebastian has come back from London two days earlier than expected and arrives on campus having no clue that he’s been replaced…by his own twin sister.
Rating: thumbs up

Scary Movie 4: The Scary Movie gang is back with send-ups of “War of the Worlds,” “The Grudge,” “The Village,” “Saw” and “Saw II,” “Million Dollar Baby” and much more. Legendary comedy director David Zucker (“Airplane!,” the “Naked Gun” franchise, “Scary Movie 3,” and “Ruthless People”) and producer Bob Weiss reunite to take aim at some of the best fright films, the latest box office hits, music, current events, pop culture, and your favorite celebrities. Anna Faris and Regina Hall are back as the loveable, dim-witted Cindy Campbell and her self-serving, sex-crazed pal, Brenda, respectively – joined this time around by Craig Bierko (“Cinderella Man”), as the cute-but-utterly clueless Tom Ryan. Together, they battle to save the world from a ruthless alien invasion. And the outrageous celebrity cameos include: Carmen Electra, Shaquille O’Neal, Dr. Phil, Bill Pullman, Chris Elliott, Molly Shannon, Michael Madsen, rappers Chingy and Lil’ John, Leslie Nielsen returning as our fearless Commander in Chief, plus many, many more surprises.
Rating: thumbs down

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005): When Frank Beardsley, a widower with eight children, runs into his high school sweetheart, Helen North, it’s as if thirty years never passed! Helen, also a widow with ten kids of her own that include the six she and her husband adopted, feels the attraction as well. It’s no wonder they rush into marriage without telling their kids. True love can conquer all–right? Unfortunately for Frank and Helen, the families don’t mesh quite as easily as the newlyweds had hoped. They probably should have seen the culture clash coming: the disciplined Beardsleys run things by the book; for the energetic and vivacious Norths, there is no book. Helen’s kids aren’t pleased about moving and sharing rooms with a bunch of uptight strangers. Frank’s children have nothing in common with the unruly Norths. Since both sets of kids aren’t happy, they devise a plan to undermine the marriage and team up to plot the breakup. East meets west as the two families find a way to work together–in order to separate! Just when it appears that the kids have succeeded, they realize they like each other despite their differences–they don’t want their families to split up! Can they save Frank and Helen’s marriage after they so brilliantly split them up? It’s up to Frank and Helen.
Rating: thumbs up

Take The Lead: Pierre Dulaine is a Manhattan ballroom teacher and competitor who volunteers his time to teach ballroom dancing to a group of New York inner city high school kids. Initially forced to participate as a form of detention, the kids reject Mr. Dulaine’s efforts until his unwavering commitment and dedication finally inspires them to embrace the program, infusing it with their own unique hip-hop style while subconsciously learning valuable life lessons about pride, respect, self-esteem and honor.
Rating: so-so

The Constant Gardener: In a remote area of Northern Kenya, the region’s most dedicated activist, the brilliant and passionate Tessa Quayle, has been found brutally murdered. Tessa’s traveling companion, a local doctor, appears to have fled the scene, and the evidence points to a crime of passion. Sandy Woodrow, Sir Bernard Pellegrin, and the other members of the British High Commission assume that Tessa’s widower, their mild-mannered and unambitious colleague Justin Quayle, will leave the matter to their discretion. They could not be more wrong. This career diplomat’s equilibrium has been exploded by the loss of the woman he was deeply devoted to. They were opposites whose attraction sustained a marriage, the memories of which now spur Justin to take decisive action for the first time in his life and diplomatic career. Haunted by remorse and jarred by rumors of his wife’s infidelities, Justin surprises himself by plunging headlong into a dangerous odyssey. Determined to clear his wife’s name and “finish what she started,” Justin embarks on a crash course to learn about the pharmaceutical industry, whose crimes Tessa was on the verge of uncovering, and journeys across two continents in search of the truth. His eyes are soon opened to a vast conspiracy at once deadly and commonplace, one that has claimed innocent lives–and is about to put his own at risk.
Rating: so-so (It just wasn’t for me…)

Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction: After re-locating from San Francisco to London, best-selling crime novelist Catherine Trammell once again finds herself on the wrong side of the law. Dr. Michael Glass, a respected London criminal psychiatrist, is brought in by Scotland Yard detective Roy Washburn to perform a psychiatrist profile and evaluation of Tramell following the mysterious death of a top sports star. Physically drawn to Tramell and mentally intrigued by her, Glass, against the advice of his mentor, Dr. Milena Gardosh, is quickly sucked into her web of lies and seduction. The professional boundaries between Glass and Tramell are obliterated when she uncovers his basic instincts. A deadly battle of wits ensues, climaxing as Glass faces a choice that will change both their lives forever.
Rating: thumbs down

Capote: In November, 1959, Truman Capote, the author of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and a favorite figure in what is soon to be known as the Jet Set, reads an article on a back page of the New York Times. It tells of the murders of four members of a well-known farm family–the Clutters–in Holcomb, Kansas. Similar stories appear in newspapers almost every day, but something about this one catches Capote’s eye. It presents an opportunity, he believes, to test hislong-held theory that, in the hands of the right writer, non-fiction can be as compelling as fiction. What impact have the murders had on that tiny town on the wind-swept plains? With that as his subject–for his purpose, it does notmatter if the murderers are never caught–he convinces The New Yorker magazine to give him an assignment and he sets out for Kansas. Accompanying him is a friend from his Alabama childhood: Harper Lee, who within a few months will win a Pulitzer Prize and achieve fame of her own as the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
Rating: thumbs up

Crash (2005): A Brentwood housewife and her D.A. husband. A Persian store owner. Two police detectives who are also lovers. An African-American television director and his wife. A Mexican locksmith. Two car-jackers. A rookie cop. A middle-aged Korean couple. They all live in Los Angeles. And during the next 36 hours, they will all collide.
Rating: two thumbs up

Munich: Set in the aftermath of the massacre of 11 Israeli athletes at the 1972 Munich Olympics, the story follows a secret Israeli squad assigned to track down and kill the 11 Palestinians suspected to have planned the Munich attack–and the personal toll this mission of revenge takes on the team and the man who led it.
Rating: so-so (Not for me)

Syriana: From writer/director Stephen Gaghan, winner of the Best Screenplay Academy Award for ‘Traffic,’ comes ‘Syriana,’ a political thriller that unfolds against the intrigue of the global oil industry. From the players brokering back-room deals in Washington to the men toiling in the oil fields of the Persian Gulf, the film’s multiple storylines weave together to illuminate the human consequences of the fierce pursuit of wealth and power. As a career CIA operative (George Clooney) begins to uncover the disturbing truth about the work he has devoted his life to, an up-and-coming oil broker (Matt Damon) faces an unimaginable family tragedy and finds redemption in his partnership with an idealistic Gulf prince (Alexander Siddig). A corporate lawyer (Jeffrey Wright) faces a moral dilemma as he finesses the questionable merger of two powerful U.S. oil companies, while across the globe, a disenfranchised Pakistani teenager (Mazhar Munir) falls prey to the recruiting efforts of a charismatic cleric. Each plays their small part in the vast and complex system that powers the industry, unaware of the explosive impact their lives will have upon the world.
Rating: so-so (Too heavy for me)

V For Vendetta: Set against the futuristic landscape of totalitarian Britain, the story of a mild-mannered young woman named Evey who is rescued from a life-and-death situation by a masked vigilante known only as “V.” Incomparably charismatic and ferociously skilled in the art of combat and deception, V urges his fellow citizens to rise up against tyranny and oppression. As Evey uncovers the truth about V’s mysterious background, she also discovers the truth about herself–and emerges as his unlikely ally in the culmination of his plot to bring freedom and justice back to a society fraught with cruelty and corruption.
Rating: two thumbs up

Fun With Dick And Jane (2005): Dick and Jane are in love and living the American dream–until one day it becomes an American nightmare. When the company Dick works for becomes involved in an Enron-like scandal and he takes the rap, Dick and Jane are forced with the prospect of losing everything. After playing by the rules and getting burned, Dick has an idea: If stealing was good enough for his boss, then it’s good enough for him. Using his newfound skills, he and Jane decide to exact hilarious revenge and teach big business a lesson.
Rating: so-so

Prime: In colorful, bustling modern-day Manhattan, Rafi, a 37-year-old photography producer reeling from a recent divorce, meets David, a 23-year-old painter recently out of college. Rafi’s therapist, Dr. Lisa Metzger, who is working to help Rafi overcome her fears of intimacy, finds out that Rafi’s new lover is–unfortunately for Lisa–her only son, David. Both David and Rafi must contend with their 14-year age gap, vastly different backgrounds and the demands of David’s traditional mother. Despite their intense attraction, the charmed couple soon realizes that vastly different ages and backgrounds create much conflict. A Jewish hip-hop lover and closet painter who still lives with his grandparents, David has little in common with Rafi–a non-practicing Catholic from a wealthy, broken family who travels in the sophisticated, high-end world of fashion.
Rating: so-so

The Producers (2005): A shady Broadway producer and his nerdy accountant concoct a scheme to overfinance a huge flop and pocket the excess budget, but the show unexpectedly becomes a smash.
Rating: thumbs up

American Dreamz: On the morning of his re-election, the President decides to read the newspaper for the first time in four years. This starts him down a slippery slope. He begins reading obsessively, reexamining his black and white view of the world, holing up in his bedroom in his pajamas. Frightened by the President’s apparent nervous breakdown, his Chief of Staff pushes him back into the spotlight, booking him as a guest judge on the television ratings juggernaut (and the President’s personal fave), the weekly talent show American Dreamz. America can’t seem to get enough of American Dreamz, hosted by self-aggrandizing, self-loathing Martin Tweed, ever on the lookout for the next insta-celebrity. His latest crop of hopefuls includes Sally, a conniving steel magnolia with a devoted, dopey veteran boyfriend, and Omer, a recent Southern Californian immigrant (who just happens to be a bumbling, show tune singing, would-be terrorist awaiting activation). When both Sally and Omer make it to the final round of Dreamz — where the President will be judging along with Tweed — the stage is set for a show the nation will never forget.
Rating: so-so

The Wild: In this computer-animated comedy-adventure, an assortment of animals from the New York Zoo – including a lion, a giraffe, an anaconda, a koala, and a squirrel – discover what a jungle the city can be when one of their own is mistakenly shipped to the wild and they embark on a dangerous mission to rescue him. The film has a vocal ensemble – Kiefer Sutherland (as the respected lion leader, Samson), Greg Cipes (as Samson’s son, Ryan), Jim Belushi (as Benny, the street savvy squirrel and Samson’s best friend), Janeane Garofalo (as a quick-witted giraffe), Richard Kind (as a dim-witted anaconda), William Shatner (as a wicked wildebeest), and Eddie Izzard (as Nigel, an acerbic koala).
Rating: so-so (Kinda like a copy of Madagascar, but not as good)

Inside Man: Four people dressed in painters’ outfits march into the busy lobby of Manhattan Trust, a cornerstone Wall Street Branch of a worldwide financial institution. Within seconds, the costumed robbers place the bank under a surgically planned siege, and the 50 patrons and staff become unwitting pawns in an airtight heist. NYPD hostage negotiators Detectives Keith Frazier and Bill Mitchell are dispatched to the scene with orders to establish contact with the heist’s ringleader, Dalton Russell, and ensure safe release of the hostages. Working alongside Emergency Services Unit (ESU) Captain John Darius, all are hopeful that the situation can be peacefully diffused and that control of the bank and release of those inside can be secured in short order. But Russell proves an unexpectedly canny opponent–clever, calm and totally in command–a puppet master with a meticulous plan to disorient and confuse not only the hostages, but also the authorities. Outside, the crowd of New Yorkers grows as the situation becomes increasingly intense tense, with Frazier’s superiors becoming more concerned about his ability to keep the standoff from spiraling out of control. The robbers appear to consistently be one step ahead of the police, outwitting Frazier and Mitchell at every turn. Frazier’s suspicions that more is at work than anyone perceives are justified with the entry of Madeline White, a power player with shadowy objectives, who requests a private meeting with Russell. The chairman of the bank’s board of directors, controlling entrepreneur Arthur Case, is also uniquely interested in the moment-to-moment happenings inside the branch. But just what are the robbers after? Why has nothing worked to alleviate the standoff, which stretches on hour after hour? Frazier is convinced that invisible strings are being pulled and secret negotiations are taking place as the powder keg situation grows more unstable by the moment.
Rating: thumbs up (Good but not as smart as Oceans Eleven… and I figured out their plan)

Failure To Launch: A thirtysomething man who still lives with his parents falls in love with the woman of his dreams and begins to suspect she has been hired by his parents as a way to get him out of the house.
Rating: thumbs down

The Shaggy Dog (2006): Tim Allen transforms from family dad to family dog and back again in this update of the Disney comedy. It all begins when workaholic Deputy D.A. Dave Douglas (Allen) takes on a case involving an animal laboratory — one that will take him away yet again from his wife (Kristin Davis) and kids (Zena Grey and Spencer Breslin), who already yearn for his all-too-distracted attention. But when Dave is accidentally infected with a top-secret, genetic-mutation serum, everything he thought he knew about being himself and his family changes. Yet with his newly perked-up ears, and his front-row seat on the household carpet, Dave is able to gain a whole new perspective into his family’s secrets and dreams. Now, he wants nothing more than to stop fetching and return to fathering — only first he’ll have to stop the evil forces behind the serum.
Rating: thumbs down

Curious George: The adventures of Curious George, the inquisitive little guy with an insatiable taste for adventure. George’s spunky and fun-loving nature endears him to new friends, but also lands him in a series of (mis-)adventures.
Rating: thumbs down

Pink Panther (2006): A world-famous soccer coach has been murdered and his priceless, legendary ring has been stolen–a ring set with the stunning diamond known as the “Pink Panther.” The French government needs a master detective to solve the crime and recover the gem–but he’s not available, so they recruit none other than Inspector Jacques Clouseau. A stunning pop star, a soccer player, a Chinese assassin circles–but who committed the crime? And can anyone solve the case? Clouseau and his partner, Ponton, must unmask the murderer and keep their boss, Dreyfus, from taking credit for the victory, all without bringing the French legal system to a screeching halt.
Rating: so-so

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s